A good friend of mine is going through a particularly painful ordeal during this season of her life. The ordeal she is enduring came about through a serious of red flags she refused to acknowledge. Red flags that had been pointed out to her from several of her friends and family members. Now that she is in emotional turmoil with brick walls closing in on her, there are very few people around her willing to lend her support.
What I've noticed about my friend is that she has more fight in her than anyone dreamed. She set her mind on a goal and has worked for it with almost reckless abandon. She has persevered when most others would have called it quits. Now that she is at a point of no return she has decided that it is time for her to throw in the towel. She has lost a lot in the process. I'm sure that what she has gained will be more and more evident as time goes by.
As I've watched her, I've heard myself say things like "If it were me I would do thus and so", or "If it were me, I would have checked that person; how dare they assume. . . ". The last 'if it were me' advice I gave stopped me in my tracks. I realized that I've made mistakes that have been just as bad and and wreck-less the. The only difference was the subject of my pursuit. She was attempting to build a business in an industry that she knew nothing about. I was building a business in an industry that I was very comfortable with and knew a lot about; but instead of using my own best judgment, I trusted and deferred the administrative responsibilities of our business to someone who was only concerned about the money that could be made. He did not know that "when you chase money, it runs from you. Fortunately for me, I walked away long before I was on the brink of near ruin.
I was able to walk away earlier in the process because I knew what my tolerances were. At the onset I knew how much capital and time I was able to invest toward making the business successful. When I realized that my former partner always had a good reason for not fulfilling his end of the agreement I severed my ties with that person and took down that shingle. Since then, I've assigned a lot of personal limits that I live by. How about you, when is enough enough for you?
In relationships, are you willing to continue on with a partner who cheats - to what extent? What is the maximum personal loan you will extend to anyone? Will you tell a person you consider to be a friend something that may embarrass them and cause you to loose the friendship? How about your car, will you let anyone drive it? Under what circumstances?
At first it was really hard to enforce my personal values; but I had to as a matter of self preservation. An amazing thing happened as a result. the more I stood my ground, the more people respected me and honored my limits. Much to my surprise, I didn't loose any friends in the process; even though I thought I would. Your life should be more valuable to you than the life/lives of anyone else in the world other than your dependent children or grand children. Once you realize this and act like it, the world will realize it and treat you lilke it's so.
In joy,
Andrea
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