Dear Sisters,

I want you to know that when a man is in love - his outlook on life changes.  Everything about him cares about  everything about you.  His goal in life will include pleasing and providing for you.  He will spend time with you (in person, on the phone, via internet communications means) as often as he can,  irrespective of what anyone else says, does, or thinks.

When we find ourselves the object of a mans love interest.  All we have to do is keep living and continue to be the person we are.  When we allow a man who loves us  to court us in ways that he dreams up - it will usually be better than anything we could have thought of ourselves because his entire aim is to please us.

When a woman takes advantage of  or takes for granted a man who loves her - she makes life more difficult for another woman down his path who will truly appreciate him, treat him right, and return his affection.  That is why it is so important that we are all honest with men early on.  If you are not interested in him - tell him so with tact and diplomacy.  He may hurt for a few days - but he will emerge with his heart and his outlook on love in tact.  Most of all he will respect you and may eventually become one of the best friends you've ever had.   Otherwise, he may become cynical, miss trusting, and worse of all - non committal.

When we cater to men who do not love, respect, or appreciate us we spoil them.    We unwittingly give them the impression that they don't need a woman to get everything they want from one.  Doing this not only gives most men the idea that they can do better than you.  It takes you off of your life's course and keeps you from accomplishing something worthwhile for yourself and/ or your family.  A woman who neglects herself in her attempts to please others is not attractive.

I wrote all of this to make this point:  If you want a truly committed relationship with a man who loves you.  Know what love looks like to men and how they respond when they are in love -  and be patient.   You can not earn an academic degree in the moment you decide that you want one.  We do not give birth to a healthy baby within three months of pregnancy.  Almost everything we do in life involves a learning and growing process, dating and marriage are not the exceptions. 

Tomorrow, I will share with you my working  philosophy on friends, dating and marriage.

In joy,

Andrea