Dear Sisters (part 2)

FRIENDS, DATING, and MARRIAGE

Yesterday I promised to share some of my philosophies about friends, dating, and marriage with you.  Before you read them you should know that I am not a licensed or practicing therapist of any sort.  I believe that single women should only take relationship advice from people whose relationships they admire.  I believe that no matter what - you must be true to yourself and honest with others for any relationship you enter into to not only survive; but to thrive as well.

Over a period of several years a lot of sisters have asked me for advice about their relationships be it sibling/sibling, parent/child, girlfriends. boy friends, husband/wife....  I would usually ask the person "why are you asking me"?   People almost always responded with 'you always seem to have it together'.  Here's a news flash for you:  Bernard Madoff, Bonnie and Clyde, Richard Nixon, Coral Watts . . . all seemed to have it together before they were exposed.  For that reason, I want to encourage you to get to know yourself first and foremost.  Weigh any advice you receive from anyone against what you know about yourself, your beliefs, and your course in life.  For a person who is sincerely seeking an answer - even a jackass can bring light.  On the contrary, a person who is seeking direction will often be led astray.

Last thing before I share with you my short list of philosophies:  I can not stress enough the importance of getting to know yourself and what you truly want in life.  If you don't know who you are and what you want,  life will live through you any way the wind blows at any moment; rather than you living a vibrant, happy, and enjoyable life on purpose.

> There is a big difference between friends and lovers.  Don't give a "friend" the benefits entitled to lovers. and if someone you love treats you like a friend face the fact that they don't love you back.  Protect your heart and move on.

>Men LOVE their money.  If they are giving you their money in any form e.g. all expense paid date,  weekend trips, clothes, cash, car repairs.. .  they are into you - weather they say so or not.  The only exceptions that I know of pertains to men who are wealthy enough to have money to squander and do so just to keep you around as a play thing.  And, men who are truly just a good friend - like a brother or cousin.  The only way to be absolutely sure which it is is to ask and to accept the answer you receive as truth.

> When you play games with people you really don't want to be with you are not only breaking their heart, you are keeping someone who truly deserves that person from receiving their blessing.  Even worse, you are keeping the person of your dreams from finding you.

 

> Know your limitations.  Don't compromise your integrity.  Are you willing to be bought for a price or do you want to be with someone who see's you as priceless? 

> Remember:  IF YOU FREELY GIVE UP YOUR FREEDOM FOR THINGS, YOU WILL EVENTUALLY LOOSE YOUR FREEDOM AND THE THINGS! 

>If you don't treat your man with respect, you will either loose him or emasculate him.  Either way he will be of no use to you.

>If you don't respect him let him go.  If you don't love him or are not into him, set him free.  

>I believe that most men would rather have an o.k. looking woman who is honest and dependable over a sensual bombshell that he can't trust.

> I also believe that most men who are ready to settle down  look for a quality in women that is visible irrespective of how women look or act.  If you have to convince a man to be with you - you are not his hearts desire.  Save your heart and mind from further useless entanglements - move on.  (It's better to hurt a little now than a lot later.)

>When a person tells you anything about them selves.  Believe them, and govern any further involvement accordingly.  

>Be true to yourself, live the life of your dreams.  That way, whether you ever enter into a meaningful couples relationship or not, your life will be full and worthwhile.  Otherwise, you will begin to dread life by focusing on what you don't have.  That dread sends a subliminal signal that says 'I don't believe that I am worthy to be loved, stay away from me' to all prospects.  It's true.

>You are worth everything your heart desires.  Believe this.  Know this.  Focus on this.  Work confidently toward living the life of your dreams.  Everything else, including a divine relationship, will follow in it's own time.

That's enough for now.  Tomorrow I want to share with you a few lessons that I learned about appearances.  In the mean time know that it is better to hurt a little buy cutting a budding relationship short in the beginning rather than being devastated by the inevitable later.

In joy,

Andrea