Progress

Several times during the past month or less I have come face to face with situations past.  In one instance I was accused of not caring. . . but in actuality that was one of the hardest times of my life.  I was firmly focused on becoming a better, more valuable person (through education) and caring for my four kids and sewing for extra money that I literally did not notice everything that was happening around me unless someone brought it to my attention (Not that I could ever know or have a seeing eye view into every thing that happens around me).

I also recall that during that time in my life several people did come to me with their issues and concerns.  And I, as if I were a Rockefeller, opened our home, and our pantry to several families.  I also skimmed on the provisions I worked long and hard for in order to help others who were in equally bad or worse condition than us financially.  In many cases I was used, taken advantage of, taken for granted, mistreated, stolen from. . . .  All because I was doing the right thing - you know what I thought Jesus would do.

I've recently come to the realization that in being so caring and willing to use my last to help someone else - I've kept finishing last.  There is a balance that I've learned that progressive and ethically minded people live by:

1. They help others out of their excess; not out of their limitations.
2. They do what they can for others and trust that the rest will be provided
3. They have a clear line of responsibility that they adhere to without feeling guilty about those things they can not do.
4. They do not mindlessly take on more than they are able to reasonably accomplish.
5. They are realist - they do not allow people to play mind games with or on them.  
6. They know how to say no.  If it doesn't make sense - NO.  If it's not their responsibility - NO.  If they don't feel right about it - NO.  If you're not willing to put it in writing - NO.  We always tell our kids to just say no to drugs and sex - we also need to teach them how to just say NO to people and circumstances that are not in their best interest.

There are other attributes of course; but for my purposes in this writing these are a great start.  Bottom line - I learned that in order for me to achieve any of my goals or heart's desires, that I have to focus on building it, irrespective of all of the hands for help that are being raised around me.  If I continue to give what I really can't afford to loose, my lifestyle and net worth will continue to deteriorate while those who started out with me in basically the same situations continue go grow in stature, lifestyle, net worth, respect/ prominence. . . . The major difference being that they became mentally strong and anchored their will on a firm resolve while they were at the bottom of the bucket.  So much so that when the other crabs tried to pull them back they could not grab a firm hold of her as she kept moving forward without looking back. 

We can either get ahead or stay behind and live in a perpetual state of lack.  Our actions, not our desire, will determine which.

Andrea