I've read a slew of publications regarding how to succeed in business and in life. But experience has taught me that it's not enough to know the mechanics of how others have succeeded in business and in their lives. We may be able to mirror and emulate the success of others; but if the success we achieve by the tutelage of others does not quench the thirst in our own souls how satisfied can we really be with our lives. I don't know about any one else, but I think I can be real happy with lots of money, the home of my dreams, a fine and smooth ride. Oh yes I can! So let me rephrase that.
THE GUY IN THE GLASS
When you get what you want in your struggle for self and the world makes you "King" for a day, then go to the mirror and look at yourself and see what that guy has to say.
For it isn’t your father, or mother, or wife whose judgment upon you must pass, the fellow whose verdict counts most in your life Is the guy staring back from the glass.
He’s the fellow to please... never mind all the rest, for he’s with you clear to the end; And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult task If the guy in the glass is your friend.
You may be like Jack Horner and "chisele" a plum and think you’re a wonderful guy, but the man in the glass says you’re only a bum If you can’t look him straight in the eye.
- - - Author unknown- - -
When I was 19 or 20 years old, this poem was given to me by a former co-worker; a lady I truly admired. She told me that she felt led to share the poem with me. I was also given the instructions "Make sure that you can look yourself in the eyes everyday". To this day, I literally look myself in the eye when I look in the mirror each morning.
The first time I looked myself in the eyes however, I was terrified. I don't remember seeing anything in particular; but a feeling of terror overcame me. I literally ran out of my bathroom. It took what seemed like hours for me to get up the courage to look myself in the eyes again. The second time I looked myself in the eyes, I cried. I cried long and hard - snorting, gasping for air the whole bit. For the first time in my life, I realized that I didn't know who I was. I didn't know what I wanted in life. I had never considered a long term direction for my life other than what people told me it should be. I was living by the seat of my pants, and it wasn't all good. I began to take myself and my life seriously for the first time ever. Within three months I had joined the Air National Guard which also revolutionized my life in many ways.
A few strategies that I've learned that help to keep me on track (when I pay heed to them) are:
The first time I looked myself in the eyes however, I was terrified. I don't remember seeing anything in particular; but a feeling of terror overcame me. I literally ran out of my bathroom. It took what seemed like hours for me to get up the courage to look myself in the eyes again. The second time I looked myself in the eyes, I cried. I cried long and hard - snorting, gasping for air the whole bit. For the first time in my life, I realized that I didn't know who I was. I didn't know what I wanted in life. I had never considered a long term direction for my life other than what people told me it should be. I was living by the seat of my pants, and it wasn't all good. I began to take myself and my life seriously for the first time ever. Within three months I had joined the Air National Guard which also revolutionized my life in many ways.
A few strategies that I've learned that help to keep me on track (when I pay heed to them) are:
- I keep my personal affairs to myself (with the exception of my spouse and a few life long friends). I've learned that when I share my joys, frustrations, concerns, or accomplishments with people who don't honor my right to be me; I open myself up to criticisms and judgments that I do not want. I have lost a couple of friends a few acquaintances and a family member because I refused to accept their opinion of my circumstances as a fate that I should be held to.
- I have also grown to understand that I can not determine how anyone will respond to my best efforts; but I know that I am the only person qualified to protect my own best interest. I can not force anyone to love me, want me, notice how beautiful or worthwhile I am... But I can and do love myself. I am beautiful to me. I know know that I am a fearfully and wonderfully made creature of infinite worth for myself.
Funny thing, knowing those things have not necessarily minimized or eradicated the probability of undesirable situations or circumstances in my life. But it does afford me internal peace and the freedom of heart and mind to hold my head high through it all. This is the peace and contentment from within that I wish for you all.
Peace!
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